This is my blog, my place to be me, to let it all out. It's as safe place where I don't have to be self conscious, embarrassed, or ashamed. It's like having a diary or a journal only better because sometimes your journal actually talks back to you and gives you words of encouragement, advise or just tells you your not alone in this. No my blog isn't private anyone can stumble upon it and read my inner most thoughts or what Cloth Diapers I love. By the way I'm loving Rumparooz right now, : ) Yet even though it's out there it still felt private, I felt anonymous. I have always been the kind of person who was afraid that if I let it all out, if I let myself be me without any filters that they wouldn't like me. That they would look at me different, they wouldn't be my friend or they would talk about me behind my back. Motherhood changed a lot of that for me. I gave up caring what other people thought, or I thought I did. I realize I still hang on to that fear. I'm still afraid, I'm still holding back. I realize this because when my hubby decided that it was a good idea to announce to his whole family that I had a blog, I was MORTIFIED! I couldn't believe that he did that after I made it very clear that I hadn't told anyone, and wasn't ready to share it with them yet. I refused to talk about it when my Brother in law asked about it. I just got this image in my head of everyone sitting around the computer reading my blog and laughing at me. Not really warranted but that's what flashed through my mind. a few days later my Sister in Law was wondering why I hadn't told her about it since we pretty much speak every day. The truth is it's hard for me to put myself out there with people I know. Sometimes there are those things that you just don't say out loud, or that your embarrassed by or that you think no one else will get, so you keep it to yourself. Before everyone knew about my blog I thought this would be a great way to find the motivation to get rid off all my baby weight. I couldn't wait to join in on McFatty Mondays, so I could be part of this great support system and be accountable, because you know Mondays gonna roll around, and you don't want to be caught with a twinkie in your mouth! Since my Hubby burst my blogs plastic bubble, I have not had the courage to go for it. All of a sudden the idea of posting my weight on here with pics just didn't sound like such fun anymore. Yeah I know I'm a chicken, but it's the truth. It really has nothing to with anyone else and everything to do with my own lack of confidence. So now i find myself trying to let go of that fear, and just be me, and not worry what anyone else thinks about it.
So how about you ladies, do you prefer anonymity or are you an open book in life as well as your blog?