Yesterday I had a DO-OVER day. You know the kind where you wish you could call a time out, press a magic button and do your life over again. I'm not a terribly depressed person, I love my family. I know my problems are small compared to what so many endure on a daily basis.
That said, there are still those days where you just cant keep yourself from falling into that dark place. When the kids have been going at it all day, screaming running jumping on furniture, fighting and locking your 15 moth old in their room by himself cause he knocked down your block tower. so that you have to get out the tool box to take the door knob of the door to get him out, GASP, kind of day. Oh and then the hubby comes home from work only to be as difficult and unreasonable as the kids. OH it was just one of those days!
So I thought I would take to my Facebook page and vent a little. I put up some funny marriage quotes and song lyrics to Soul asylum's Runaway Train, lol. I didn't really expect anyone to respond. But they did. Three of my old pals responded with comments or instant messages or a private message, all asking if I was ok. I was really surprised and it made me feel better to think that someone cared enough to ask.
The only one who really got it, was an old friend from H.S, we actually worked together at a snack shop in the mall for several months, (BEST JOB EVER!). Well she's married with a little girl of her own. Anyways she totally got how I was feeling. She got that sometimes it isn't always easy or fun being a wife and momma. It's hard and stressful and draining.
Sometimes I wish I were like all my single friends living it up back in New York with their cute never had a baby bodies and nice clothes that don't have boogies and spit up and God knows what else on them. They have dinner at real restaurants and travel the world. Yes, I am just a tad jealous. I don't think about that stuff often but sometimes it does pop into my head.
I don't think women really talk about the other side of being a mom or wife, the side that ain't so pretty. At least I haven't seen anybody doing it much. I think maybe because women can be so judgmental of each other. We don't want anyone to think were bad mother's or wives. I honestly enjoy reading so many different mom blogs out there. They inspire me everyday, they are almost always positive. But sometimes they kind of make me feel like I'm the only woman on the planet who isn't loving every moment of being a wife and mom.
After reading my friends message I couldn't help but feel better. Knowing that I wasn't alone in what I was feeling meant the world to me. I realized I'm not alone, I'm not the only one who wishes for DO-OVERS sometimes. I'm a mom and I'm human and sometimes Mommy needs a timeout. Sometimes we just need someone to pat us one the shoulder and say, I get it. I know how you feel, your not the only one. It really does help.
Thanks, Mango
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I totally get how you feel. I feel the same way. Just yesterday I was around a bunch of friends who were happy and loving on their calm babies. Babies were sleeping in their mommy's arms, breastfeeding then they were hungry, etc. Mine was screaming and tired as heck. I felt so awful that I left and cried the whole way home. I sure wish people would paint the ugly picture of parenting sometimes. Getting frustrated makes NO ONE a bad parent, it just makes them human. So thanks for sharing, that was comfort to me!
ReplyDeleteIm glad it made you feel a little better. It's easy to think your the only one whose kids flip out, but your not. We were both probably crying at the same time,lol.
ReplyDeleteThere are some days I want to pull my hair out. Bella will puke on me for the 16th time in an hour down a newly clean shirt and I want to scream in frustration. Or when I wake up at 6 to her crying and soothe her till 9 while DH snores beside me, wakes up, and turns on the TV while I feed her - this makes me very angry inside.
ReplyDeleteI think its hard for some of us to blog about these things because a lot of our families read it. I know my mother in law does, and so when I have a bad day with DH and want to vent, my blog really isn't the place. And I respect him - I wouldn't want him secretly pouring out his anger to strangers.
However, it does make for the "ideal" life syndrome, the one where nothing like that is ever mentioned on someone's blog so you fall under the impression that their husband helps out, never watches TV, always is offering to clean.
It's a tough balance. I want to be loyal to DH while being realistic about our life. I might just blog about it. Thanks for posting this.
Diana,
ReplyDeleteI'm so there with you. I think men arew born with the ability to sleep through baby screaming. It's just in thier gentic code. I on the other hand freakishly wake up 5 minutes before my baby actually wakes up and starts crying. I also dont want to bash my guy, cause I respect him as my husband, but sometimes it's I feel like there is no where to turn to just release all the steam. I'm lucky he doesnt read this, and none of my family knows about it yest either. I kind of like that I can write freely with out worrying that someones going to read and be upset. This blog is for me. A place to regain some of who I use to be. Thank's for the comment and following my blog. I really love yours, and that you actually write about stuff and not just advertise stuff, although thats fun too sometimes.
I did really get a thrill to see YOU! were my first follower. Thanks again.